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Men Are Just Happier People

November 8, 2010

NICKNAMES:

  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and  Sarah.
  • If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:

  • When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:

  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she  doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS:

  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a  towel.
  • The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these  items.

ARGUMENTS:

  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:

  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:

  • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
  • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:

  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:

  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:

  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:

  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
12 Comments leave one →
  1. November 8, 2010 12:51 PM

    ahahahahahaha! It’s true we do deterioate during the night. LMAO! I was primping to go to Wal*Mart or somewhere with my b/f and he’s like “Didn’t you already get ready once today?” And I’m all “Hey, you think this (and I wave my hand over my face) wakes up looking like this (beautiful) every morning!”

    I’m not gonna tell you what his reply was!

    • November 8, 2010 6:37 PM

      LOL……….being a man I can imagine what his response was. LOL

    • November 8, 2010 9:46 PM

      By the way…who “primps” to go to WALMART???? LOL

      • November 10, 2010 6:11 AM

        Did ya READ your own post about dressing up? You might want to throw Wal Mart in there too!

        • November 10, 2010 11:08 AM

          Yes I read it but WALMART? I mean it’s……well…..WALMART. LOL

          • November 10, 2010 4:28 PM

            Someone at work called me a “Priss” today if that helps out in any way?

  2. LVISS permalink
    November 8, 2010 8:48 PM

    MOST ARGUEMENTS END WITH “‘SHUT UP”

  3. November 8, 2010 9:40 PM

    I think my husband WISHES I’d dress up to water plants, and take out trash. I’m the only person in my office who observes casual mon, tues, wedns, thurs, AND Friday. P.S. I love that last one.

  4. Paula permalink
    November 8, 2010 10:09 PM

    I would love to make some comments about my husband on his truths but I would like to stay married to him. I will say that several of the comments are not truth for him. LOL love ya honey!

  5. November 9, 2010 10:20 AM

    LOL That’s funny Paula I could say that about Navar as well. :+) Funny list.

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