Skip to content

A Chrismouse Meme

December 21, 2009

I was tagged by Just A Mom over at The Eyes In The Back Of My Head for this holiday meme.

The Twelve days of Christmas have been celebrated since medieval times ~ traditionally beginning the day after Christmas Day (now known as Boxing Day) and ending on the Twelfth Night.  And since the festive season is upon us ~ I thought it might be fun to do a Christmas meme!

Rules:

  1. Copy the delightful Chrismouse picture to your post.
  2. Copy these rules and the explanation of the meme (above).
  3. Link the person who tagged you.
  4. List 12 things: either about a Christmas present or memories about Christmas past (or a mixture of both)
  5. Tag as many or as few people as you like!

If you are reading this then you are hereby tagged!

1. When I got to be a certain age and was questioning the realness of Mr. Claus, my mom and dad had a guy my dad worked with come over to our house on Christmas Eve dressed as Santa. He gave my sister and I gifts from his bag and kept me believing in the magic of Santa for another year or two. Thanks mom and dad! 😀

2. When I was growing up, neither of my parents could cook worth a hoot. My dad was convinced that HE was a better cook than my mother so he always cooked our Christmas dinner. Yep, I’ll never forget our holiday ham fresh out of the microwave by good ole dad. No, that’s not a typo. Ham fresh out of the MICROWAVE! 😀

3. We always spent Christmas Eve with my mother’s family at my great grandmother’s house. I didn’t see that side of the family very often so it was nice to see them every Christmas Eve. My Great Uncle Bob and his wife who’s name escapes me now were each a carton a day smokers and a case a day drinkers. Uncle Bob was a Navy man in WWII and has the tattoos to prove it. Every year I would try to sit close to Uncle Bob to watch him drink himself into a bumbling fool and to check out the tattoos on his forearms. Uncle Bob had a naked woman tattoo on each of his forearms and would always wear a short sleeved shirt on Christmas Eve even though it was only ten degrees outside. I studied the female anatomy every Christmas Eve by staring at my Uncle’s forearms. Thanks Uncle Bob! 😀

4. My grandfather ALWAYS typed the To’s and From’s on gift tags on his typewriter instead of hand writing them. I believe I got my analness from him!

5. Christmas day was the only day of the year I saw my dad and grandfather drink alcohol. They ALWAYS had a glass of wine or two together on Christmas day and I NEVER saw my mom drink alcohol.

6. After my grandmother died, Christmas was no longer spent at my grandparent’s house. Instead, my grandfather (my dad’s dad) would go to each of his two boys’ house on Christmas day instead. My Aunt and Uncle opened their presents REALLY early on Christmas morning, usually between 4:00am and 5:00am so my grandfather would go there first. He would open presents with them and watch my cousins open their presents and then come to our house to give us our presents and watch my sister and I open them all. By the time my grandfather got to our house between 8:00am and 9:00am, we were all awake and waiting for him to arrive. The anticipation KILLED us as we were not allowed to open ANYTHING until my grandfather arrived. My sister and I would sit there like two jumping beans waiting to open up all those presents. LOL

7. I remember the first Christmas I spent with Paula and her boys and my son. We were a real family!

8. Every Christmas Eve until I got to a certain age, my little sister would sneak into my room after my parents went to bed and we would stay up as long as we could listening for Santa. We wanted to catch him leaving us our gifts and eating the cookies we left for him. We never did catch him. I suppose we fell asleep too early but it was sure fun trying!

9. My mother was ALWAYS the first person up and around the house mobile home on Christmas morning. She knew my dad would be taking lots of pictures that day and there was NO WAY she was going to be in a picture without her hair done, makeup on and dressed nice. My sister and I would roll out of bed and it always looked as though my mom just got home from church or something.

10. One Christmas, I wanted this cool new toy that came out called Rubik’s Cube so bad I could hardly stand it. I saw the commercials for it every Saturday morning as I sat at the table eating my Boo-Berry and watching Speed Buggy. I HAD to have it! Christmas morning I woke up and opened up all my presents. I got everything I had hoped for plus some EXCEPT a Rubik’s Cube. That night after the family left and my dad was in his bedroom, I walked in and sat down kinda bummed out.

DAD: Well, did you get everything you wanted this year lug? What’s the matter?

ME: Yeah, I got a lot of great gifts this year! There was just one I was really hoping for but didn’t get.

DAD: What didn’t you get?

ME: I really really wanted a Rubik’s Cube.

DAD: What do you mean, you DID get a Rubik’s Cube.

ME: No I didn’t!

DAD: Quit pulling my leg. I know you got a Rubik’s Cube.

ME: Dad! No I didn’t!

(Dad walks to closet in bedroom, opens door and looks around inside. Reaches inside)

DAD: Ahhhhhhhhhh shit!

ME: (Keeps mouth shut cause he thinks he’s in trouble)

DAD: Here you go lug! I’m sorry, it must have fallen off the shelf and onto the floor when I got the presents out.

DAD: Go ahead, open it.

Guess what it was. LOL

 

11. One Christmas, the toy of choice for me was a Stretch Armstrong. I just HAD to have one. He was just COOL! You could stretch the shit out of him and he would shrink back to his normal size. Not a big deal today but in 1977, that was FRIGGIN AWESOME! I received a Stretch Armstrong from my grandmother on Christmas Eve which really kicked ass because I didn’t have to wait ONE MORE DAY to get him. I stretched the crap out of him all night and watched him mold back into his original size and shape. FRIGGIN AMAZING MAN! Stretch was the talk of the night amongst all my family that Christmas Eve. Everyone was wondering what was inside him that would make him stretch like that and return back to normal. Everyone was just as amazed as I was and I LOVED it when that happened as a kid. When we returned home from Great Grandma’s house, we went straight to bed because we had such a busy day tomorrow. Everyone except my mother that is. She stayed up for just a while longer. Not knowing what was inside my Stretch Armstrong was just too much for her and she couldn’t take it anymore. As she sat there looking at stretch, curiosity got the best of her and she took a knife to poor stretch to see what was inside of him. She hacked him up pretty damn good and what an untimely death for Mr. Armstrong.

The next morning I woke up and we all opened our presents. My mother had forgotten to tell my father what she had done while everyone else was asleep. After the presents were all open, I started looking around for my Stretch Armstrong but he was nowhere to be found. I asked if anyone had seen him and everyone including my mother said “No, I haven’t seen him.” I searched high and low but he was nowhere to be found. While I frantically searched, my mother told my father what she had done. Wow, was he ever PISSED OFF! He couldn’t believe my mother did that and asked where it was at. She reluctantly told him and I overheard what was going on because when my dad was pissed, he yelled and EVERYONE listened. My dad and I walked over the shallow grave in the trash can where stretch was laid to rest. Stretch had multiple stab wounds and an unknown substance leaking from his dead carcass. Since he was already hacked up and spewing things out of his wounds, my dad and I thought we may as well take a look at what he was made of. Neither I nor my dad knew what was spewing from Mr. Armstrong and remains a mystery to this day. 😀

12. Every year when we arrived at my Great Grandmother’s house for Christmas Eve, my Great Grandmother would tell my sister and I to go ahead and get some toys out to play with until we open up our presents later. She kept the toys in the walk up attic and it was FRIGGIN CREEPY. Neither my sister nor I had the balls to go up there and get any toys. We would open the door, turn on the light, look up there and that’s about as far as it would go. When asked about the toys, we would simply say we changed our minds and we will just wait until we open up our presents. That’s usually when I took a seat next to Great Uncle Bob. 😀 

Advertisements
30 Comments leave one →
  1. December 21, 2009 7:36 AM

    so what you’re saying is, you want us to write a Christmas themed novel, right? lol. I enjoyed reading about your Christmas Gary. I remember the stretchy wrestler men, and the rubiks cube.

    • December 21, 2009 12:48 PM

      A Christmas themed novel. bwahahahahahahahaha No, you can write a short story if you prefer. LOL

      Stretch Armstrong and the Rubiks Cube were just the bomb! 😀

  2. December 21, 2009 8:37 AM

    I love your mom! Cuz I so totally tore apart one of those stretch armstrong dudes too. I can’t remember who it belonged to but there had to be some sort of magic crap in those things to make them stretch like that and I was going to find out what it was.

    I loved that cube. I also loved that you could take it apart and put the thing back together the right way in like 20 seconds after you had spent a million hours trying to get it right the “real” way.

    great post!

    • December 21, 2009 12:50 PM

      I don’t know what the hell was inside him. Some kind of weird crap I have never seen to this day even. Maybe that’s why you see all these commercials on TV now for male erectile dysfunction now?

      I could actually solve the Rubik’s Cube the right way. After I got it, my grandfather bought me a book on how to solve it and I memorised the book. I used to amaze all my friends!! LOL

      • December 22, 2009 2:11 AM

        so you had a book..I pulled mine apart..pretty sure both ways are considered cheating..but like we give a shit right? 🙂

        • December 22, 2009 2:16 AM

          Yeah, I suppose your right JJ. I don’t give a shit if you don’t. LOL

  3. December 21, 2009 12:59 PM

    If you get some mysterious disease, I’d blame it on Stretch and his gooey substance.

  4. December 21, 2009 1:04 PM

    For sure! 😀

  5. December 21, 2009 1:34 PM

    I love this Gary…stretch armstrong..I bet Jason had one! We have a rubiks cube…no one has gotten yet…it’s been one year! I love this time of year….much better this go around rather than I when I was young though. Always ended in a fight and me crying in my room…not in this house! Everyone WILL be happy…or else! 😉

    • December 21, 2009 3:41 PM

      LOL….glad you liked Nikki! I got a Rubiks Cube a few years back and I can get it all the way down to the last row from memory but I can’t remember the rest. I should go to a bookstore and see if I can find the book or one similar for solving it.

      Everyone SHOULD be happy on Christmas! You just lay down the law Nikki! 😉

      • Nikki permalink
        December 21, 2009 6:46 PM

        You can’t do that…that’s cheating!!!!!!!!!

        • December 21, 2009 7:28 PM

          Hey, that’ how I learned how to do it in the first place. LOL

    • December 22, 2009 2:10 AM

      nikki..pull the damn thing apart and put it back together..much easier! 🙂

      • December 22, 2009 2:15 AM

        It IS much easier but that certainly won’t inpress your friends near as much as getting the book and learning how to work it. LOL

  6. December 21, 2009 2:02 PM

    The Stretch Armstrong story is classic! I remember him! My brothers had Stretch Armstrong and Stretch Monster and we had so much fun, each taking an arm and pulling as far as he would stretch. Eventually, one of them split open and we got to see the sticky goo inside too. What a mess!

    Did you ever get a replacement Stretch?

    • December 21, 2009 3:46 PM

      I’ll bet you STILL don’t know what that crap was do ya??? LOL

      No, I never did get a replacement. (sob sob) Not only were we poor but my dad was cheap too.

  7. December 21, 2009 2:51 PM

    The substance in Good Old Stretch Armstrong was purple wasn’t it?! Like some purple, sticky jam crap! Yep my brother USED to have one before I played surgeon on it!

    I used to take apart the Rubiks cube as well!

    • December 21, 2009 3:48 PM

      You and my mother should hang out sometime. bwahahahahahahahaha

      I don’t REMEMBER it being purple but it was such a long time ago that it very well could have been.

      RUBIKS CHEATER!!

      • December 22, 2009 2:12 AM

        I thought the goo was like a neon green ???? I’m gonna go look!

        • December 22, 2009 2:19 AM

          It may have been, I can’t remember now?

  8. December 21, 2009 6:17 PM

    Gary….you are an amazing storyteller….I love your sharing of thoughts! Thanks! I am honored for the opportunity, but I will have to pass.. 🙂

  9. December 21, 2009 7:29 PM

    Well thank you Luisa! 😀

  10. December 21, 2009 9:58 PM

    Hey, I just did this MEME, too. Fun, wasn’t it?

    I am cracking up that your mom got up early to get ready for Christmas morning pictures. I just throw on my santa hat and take the pictures so I don’t even have to be in any.

    • December 21, 2009 10:10 PM

      Did you? I will have to swing over and take a peek then. It was fun! It really made me remember Christmas past and all the good memories.

      That’s the same thing I do ghetto. I throw on my santa hat every Christmas morning and do all the photo taking. LOL

  11. December 22, 2009 2:14 AM

    from wikipedia…

    Stretch Armstrong was in the shape of a well-muscled blond man wearing a pair of swimming trunks. Its most notable feature was that its arms and legs could stretch outwards, presumably without breaking.

    The doll was re-issued in the 1990s with a canine sidekick, “Fetch Armstrong”.[1][2] He also has an evil brother named Evil X-ray Wretch Armstrong who has a skull face, sports a mohawk and also stretches. Wretch Armstong seems to be a redesigned, smaller remake of Stretch X-Ray from 1977 who had an over sized exposed brain, alien creature looking face with a see through body that shows his internal organs.

    Other similar releases were Stretch Monster, a reptilian green nemesis released by Kenner in 1978 and Fetch Armstrong, the figure’s pliable canine counterpart released in the early 1990s by Cap Toys. Cap Toys also released Stretch Vac-Man while ToyQuest released Super Morphman, both of which were filled with a granular solid instead of the viscous liquid found in the other figures. A vacuum pump which attached to the heads of these figures removed the air from within and allowed for considerable, but not unlimited, stretching ability.

    • December 22, 2009 2:19 AM

      I just had the original Stretch. I didn’t even know about the others except that the original Stretch was remade in the 90’s although he looked just a little different. A vacuum pump?? Hmmmmmmmmmm, very interesting. Thanks for posting JJ! 😀

  12. December 22, 2009 2:17 AM

    • December 22, 2009 10:33 AM

      That’s awesome! I do remember the stretch monster now. I didn’t have one but I remember it now. Thanks for posting the retro ad! 😀

  13. December 22, 2009 6:12 PM

    I loved the Stretch Armstrong story! That’s so funny! 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: