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Retiree Back To Work As A Walmart Greeter

April 4, 2009

walmart1 Would you believe it? My first job in over ten years, and I got fired. Here are the details.

Unfortunately, as I have gotten older, I have become a little less sensitive. So, after trying my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, last weekend (a good find for many retirees), I lasted less than a day.

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, coyote ugly, nasty woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, ‘Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’ The ugly, nasty woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’ So I replied, ‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am. I just find it hard to believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

My 25 year old supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work… so maybe I’ll go fishing.

27 Comments leave one →
  1. lazyeverdays permalink
    April 4, 2009 1:03 AM

    Wow. On the spot, this is hilarious.

    • April 4, 2009 1:14 AM

      That’s a job I couldn’t do!! I would have ended up saying the same thing to the lady. LOL

  2. Iowapowerball permalink
    April 4, 2009 1:47 AM

    Make me laugh, thanks for sharing!

  3. lviss permalink
    April 4, 2009 10:00 AM

    Your keen observation that you didnt think she could have got laid twice must have weighed with your employer . A repartee cost your job.

  4. April 4, 2009 10:02 AM

    LMAO!!! I love great comebacks like that. I just wish I could think of them at the time and not 2 hours later.

    • April 4, 2009 12:12 PM

      LOL…..Funny how we always think of things like that too little and too late!! SUCKS!! 😀

  5. April 4, 2009 10:52 AM

    I agree with Joy it’s after the fact that you come up with the Brilliant stuff, thus maybe saving a persons job.

    • April 4, 2009 12:13 PM

      ROFLMAO!! Depending on what job you are doing, it could be worth it!!! 😀

  6. April 4, 2009 1:24 PM


  7. April 4, 2009 1:39 PM

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have seen her and her kids at our walmart!

  8. April 4, 2009 2:38 PM

    She must travel around a lot because I have seen her at our local Walmart also! She is quite overweight and finds it necessary to shop in spandex shorts and a t-shirt. 😉

  9. fakedasmyle permalink
    April 4, 2009 11:17 PM

    Never a good idea to insult the boss’ mom.

    • April 5, 2009 12:58 AM

      Not if you want to keep your job anyway. LOL

  10. Sue permalink
    April 5, 2009 10:38 AM

    This was great! My sister works for Walmart in the pharmacy dept and when my mom got laid off from her job of 9 years a few weeks ago, we all joked with her that she could be a greeter for Walmart. My sister said, “you do have to fake being nice though when what you really want to say is Get your shit and get out!”

    • April 5, 2009 11:47 AM

      Awwww man! Sorry to hear about your mother getting laid off. That SUCKS! Wish her my best!!

      LOL… KNOW that’s what they REALLY want to say to you when you walk in!!! We ALL know it!! LOL

  11. April 5, 2009 3:25 PM

    I’d say you are definitely cut out for that kinda work, you shoulda got a promotion to the customer service department, you woulda handled customers with complaints really well…

  12. April 6, 2009 3:17 AM

    I jyust showed this to my wife & she was highly amused too….

  13. April 30, 2009 4:07 PM

    I have just declared this to be the funniest post I read for the whole month of april.

    • April 30, 2009 6:09 PM

      SWEET! I’m glad you found it to be that funny Tony!!

  14. May 1, 2009 10:09 AM

    OMG!!! that was hilarious. I bet that shut the nasty woman up.

  15. May 2, 2009 10:00 PM

    Hi Gary. I came by your blog by a link from Tony. Your post was too funny!

  16. Terribletore permalink
    August 27, 2009 5:30 PM

    I hope you told your runny nosed 25 year old supervisor to go play hide and go ‘doink’ himself and the horse he rode in on. I got lambasted at a Walmart over their mobility scooter for disabled people. I have a disability, and got yelled at before I had a chance to back their cart into its place to recharge it. I think I’ll go to Zellers (A division of Hudson Bay Company in Canada). At least they don’t have those cheesy greeters.


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